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Until Failure

by absolute fantasy

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about

"Until Failure" began as a meditation on the line between heroism and villainy, but grew into the story of my mental health struggle. I began the song before the worst bout of depression and anxiety I've had yet. I still don't remember much of summer 2015, but I pushed myself to keep working, even though it's the last thing I wanted to do.

As the song took shape, I began coming out of my fog. The title, a play on a fitness term, became a mantra: to keep trying until I couldn't anymore, then take a break and start agin. While I sat on the track for years, thinking of it as a demo, I eventually realized that it captured a moment in my life, and that the voice singing on the song was the one that experienced all that pain.

In sharing this song, I hope that others will be able to face their own struggles and know that, if they just keep going, they can make it out the other side.

To read the full story, visit: medium.com/@matherao/until-failure-775ac694a8a4

More: matherao.com

lyrics

It's funny how the world feels broken
Every time your heart's ripped open
Are the pieces even possible to mend?
Asking for a friend

It's only when the world's ripped open
You found out how long you've been broken
Stumbling, trying hard to make amends
And I know I needed to be stronger
Can't maintain control much longer
Do you ever think we'll make it to the end?
Asking for a friend

And if I did it all again
I'd make the same mistakes
But then peace is so impossible to keep
So it's me against the human race
Forgot their names, but I know all their faces
They haunt me every time I go to sleep

And their screams still echo off the shadows
Burned into the building
That slid into the sea

It's not until the world's ripped open
We can start to fix the things we've broken
Will it always be this hard to let things go?
Asking for a foe

credits

released December 15, 2018
Written, recorded, and mixed by Math Erao in Asheville, NC.

Mastered by Adam "Slam" McDaniel at Drop of Sun Studios in Asheville, NC.

© Math Erao, 2018

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